1.) Bang head against table.
2.) Find typo in revered professors lecture notes
3.) wait 3 hours for said professor to confirm that typo is typo
4.) eat lots of oatmeal and chocolate chips
5.) write down 2 lines of problem set answers
Repeat steps 4 and 5 until thoroughly disgusted with myself.
It may not be efficient, but I'm slowly understanding angular momentum. Hooray!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Lectures and classes and learning
Yesterday, I returned to lab traumatized by Statistical Mechanics class. I came in making a face that apparently amused my labmate enough that she asked me what was wrong.
"Class was BORING" I tell her. She laughs. "No, I mean it, it was REALLY BORING." She laughs some more.
"You know, class isn't always supposed to be exciting."
Yes it is folks, especially when you're a graduate student. See, learning is fun. If it wasn't fun we shouldn't do it, or more precisely, shouldn't try to make that our profession (which, in my idealized little world, is how a graduate student ought to be defined).
We were covering electrons in metals. I've learned about electrons in metals three times now. It's incredibly important. And, in my experience, incredibly painful and incredibly boring. Why is it so boring? Was it boring to the various dudes who developed it? I hope not. Is it boring to our professor who teaches it? Maybe, but I'd like to think not, because if it were boring to him he shouldn't teach it. So then why is it boring to me? I'm interested in semiconductors, or at least I appreciate them. Someone should make fermi statistics and density of states fun to learn about. Please? Any takers?
"Class was BORING" I tell her. She laughs. "No, I mean it, it was REALLY BORING." She laughs some more.
"You know, class isn't always supposed to be exciting."
Yes it is folks, especially when you're a graduate student. See, learning is fun. If it wasn't fun we shouldn't do it, or more precisely, shouldn't try to make that our profession (which, in my idealized little world, is how a graduate student ought to be defined).
We were covering electrons in metals. I've learned about electrons in metals three times now. It's incredibly important. And, in my experience, incredibly painful and incredibly boring. Why is it so boring? Was it boring to the various dudes who developed it? I hope not. Is it boring to our professor who teaches it? Maybe, but I'd like to think not, because if it were boring to him he shouldn't teach it. So then why is it boring to me? I'm interested in semiconductors, or at least I appreciate them. Someone should make fermi statistics and density of states fun to learn about. Please? Any takers?
I stayed home today for the first time since starting grad school because I felt intense nausea all last night and this morning. Were I not on birth control pills I would be certain that I'm pregnant; when I talked to my mom last night and told her I've been feeling down and immobile for the last few days she asked me if I'm pregnant. So, although I've never been pregnant, I imagine that what I experienced this morning was a mild version of morning sickness. I'm better now, thanks to time, lots of fiber-rich foods like carrots and apples, and the close proximity of the toilet.
I've been sort of working on my quantum mechanics problem set since I woke up, but I've also turned to the internet for solace. First I asked the internet why I'm nauseous. I learned that some people do experience nausea as a side effect of birth control pills. In fact I knew that already, but I'm skeptical that the pills alone are responsible for this because I've been taking them for more than three years without problems.
Then I asked the internet if its okay for me to gorge myself on food today. You see, in this current nauseous state, eating makes me feel better. I think that the food gives the nausea-causing things in my stomach something to distract themselves with. But I'm scared of gaining massive amounts of weight. Or even small amounts of weight. Because I feel like I'm on the border between where I'm happy with my body and if I cross that border I will enter the unhappy with my body regime. It doesn't ruin my life, or even really keep me from doing things that I'd like to do, but it does make a pretty significant difference to me when I feel good both about how I look, and when I just physically feel good and comfortable.
The reason why I turned to the internet for solace is because I discovered food blogs this summer. This summer had lots of culinary discoveries for me. And the relationship between food and weight is an obvious one, yet learning to appreciate food made me reexamine how I connect my eating and my weight. I haven't come to any new conclusions--and I still eat lots of chocolate, although I do it unapologetically--but it's an interesting dillema where people write about tasty food and still have to face the reality that they don't want to fall into an abyss of obesity, or even mild chubbiness.
And it turns out that many of these food blogs that I like so much, and would link to if I didn't feel like figuring out hyperlinks in blogger was way way way crossing the line into stealing precious time from quantum mechanics. Yes, they think about not turning into complete and total fatties. That's all I really want to say about it, because going into more details is embarassing, since all my friends are thin and beautiful.
I learned that my nausea was probably caused by some meat that I ate for lunch yesterday. It is in the lab right now, and I now feel compelled to throw it out tomorrow. I feel bad, because I put a lot of effort into preparing it, but it's better to throw it out than to get sick again.
I miss my lab. I want some warmth, and fuzziness. And until Robert comes home this evening suppose I will seek it out in steamed cauliflower and angular momentum representation matrices. And maybe some chocolate chips.
I've been sort of working on my quantum mechanics problem set since I woke up, but I've also turned to the internet for solace. First I asked the internet why I'm nauseous. I learned that some people do experience nausea as a side effect of birth control pills. In fact I knew that already, but I'm skeptical that the pills alone are responsible for this because I've been taking them for more than three years without problems.
Then I asked the internet if its okay for me to gorge myself on food today. You see, in this current nauseous state, eating makes me feel better. I think that the food gives the nausea-causing things in my stomach something to distract themselves with. But I'm scared of gaining massive amounts of weight. Or even small amounts of weight. Because I feel like I'm on the border between where I'm happy with my body and if I cross that border I will enter the unhappy with my body regime. It doesn't ruin my life, or even really keep me from doing things that I'd like to do, but it does make a pretty significant difference to me when I feel good both about how I look, and when I just physically feel good and comfortable.
The reason why I turned to the internet for solace is because I discovered food blogs this summer. This summer had lots of culinary discoveries for me. And the relationship between food and weight is an obvious one, yet learning to appreciate food made me reexamine how I connect my eating and my weight. I haven't come to any new conclusions--and I still eat lots of chocolate, although I do it unapologetically--but it's an interesting dillema where people write about tasty food and still have to face the reality that they don't want to fall into an abyss of obesity, or even mild chubbiness.
And it turns out that many of these food blogs that I like so much, and would link to if I didn't feel like figuring out hyperlinks in blogger was way way way crossing the line into stealing precious time from quantum mechanics. Yes, they think about not turning into complete and total fatties. That's all I really want to say about it, because going into more details is embarassing, since all my friends are thin and beautiful.
I learned that my nausea was probably caused by some meat that I ate for lunch yesterday. It is in the lab right now, and I now feel compelled to throw it out tomorrow. I feel bad, because I put a lot of effort into preparing it, but it's better to throw it out than to get sick again.
I miss my lab. I want some warmth, and fuzziness. And until Robert comes home this evening suppose I will seek it out in steamed cauliflower and angular momentum representation matrices. And maybe some chocolate chips.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Prudent life decisions?
Over the last week or two I've had several conversations with fellow grad students who seem to think that the world is a force they must fight with. They seem to think that the world is basically out to screw them over, and they have to fight it in order to not be screwed over. I think I understand where they're coming from. Resources are scarce; they always have been. A couple of thousand years ago people had to fight various forces of nature in order to find some grub and not become the grub of a bear in the process; now, they must fight the force of society to not be unemployed and starving and homeless. Or something.
I wonder, then, why do I not feel this way? Is it because I'm female? Because I'm married to a smart, kind, sane, and gainfully employed man? Because my parents made sure I was never hungry, weren't abusive, and put my safety and education and health quite high on their list of priorities? Why do I not feel like the world is out to screw me over? I feel like I'm limited by my own motivationl; opportunities abound, and I think I'm more limited by not taking advantage of opportunities that are presented than by the lack of opportunities.
I wonder, then, why do I not feel this way? Is it because I'm female? Because I'm married to a smart, kind, sane, and gainfully employed man? Because my parents made sure I was never hungry, weren't abusive, and put my safety and education and health quite high on their list of priorities? Why do I not feel like the world is out to screw me over? I feel like I'm limited by my own motivationl; opportunities abound, and I think I'm more limited by not taking advantage of opportunities that are presented than by the lack of opportunities.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Stress time
Last friday, i decided to drop my useless Electromagnetism class and take this useful and well-taught statistical mechanics class. Because it is five weeks into the quarter, I have a fair amount of catching up to do. I am currently working on a problem set for this class, and the last 12 hours have been fruitless. I need to get my ass over to campus and ask someone for help.
I've consumed two fairly large pieces of chocolate in the last hour. This does not bode well.
I've consumed two fairly large pieces of chocolate in the last hour. This does not bode well.
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